Carly PEARCE is one of the world’s most beloved female rock stars, and the first and only mother of her generation to have a baby.
But the singer-songwriter and producer has revealed she had a rocky start in her parenting career.
In a new interview with MTV News, the 33-year-old explained that the first time she let her son, Benjamin, sleep in her bed in 2009, she was shocked by how little she cared about the boy.
“I was like, ‘Oh my God, he’s still asleep,'” Carly said.
“I was scared.
I mean, I wasn’t worried about him.”
The singer-turned-producer told MTV News she was devastated by the lack of affection her son had, and even tried to give him medication.
“And I don’t mean to sound like a bitch, but I think I just couldn’t take it,” she said.
“When you have a child and it’s not your child, it’s a big blow.”
“When I heard that, I was like [shocked] ‘Why is he crying?'”
Carly said, adding she eventually learned to “put a little bit of pressure” on Benjamin.
But Benjamin didn’t seem to have much of a problem with her decision to let him sleep in his bed.
“He didn’t have a problem, he was very relaxed,” she added.
“He’s not a very big boy.
He doesn’t have to be concerned about me.”
For Carly, motherhood was about “getting my baby” and making sure her baby was well taken care of.
“It’s been a crazy year, a crazy journey, and I’m finally feeling happy about where we are as a family,” she told MTV.
But while she may be able to take comfort in her newfound happiness, she said she will always be haunted by her own mistakes.
“What happens to my kids is completely different from what happens to me,” she explained.
“They’re so young.
I had a child in my early 20s.
I went through a lot.
I was in rehab.
I did drugs.
And it’s just a different kind of rollercoaster.”
Watch Carly Pearce’s interview with M&G below: